6 OF THE BEST CHRISTMAS HORROR MOVIES THAT’LL CHILL YOU TO THE BONE

Beware, misfits, the terrifying truth is real –

It’s Kevin here to remind you there’s less than two (I repeat, TWO) weeks left before it’s time to light the Yule log & ring in the Winter Solstice! Which also means there’s only a mere two weeks left to prepare for all of the chaos that traditionally comes with Christmas / Hanukkah gatherings as well.

But – if chaos for Christmas happens to be on your wishlist (you know, in an innocent, voyeuristic kind of way), then here’s a list of our top holiday horror movies that are sure to keep you up all night:

Krampus (2015)

Anyone who grows up believing in Santa knows there’s nothing scarier than ending up on his “naughty” list. And if you ask us, it’s this very fear that’s never been more cleverly captured in such a funny & horrifying way than in Michael Dougherty’s Christmas classic, Krampus.  

When a dysfunctional family’s bickering & fighting causes a young boy to basically say “screw Christmas,” he unknowingly unleashes an ancient evil entity in the form of Father Christmas…but not. Think more like the antithesis of ol’ Santa, one that comes to punish & abduct bad boys, girls – & adults, too.

Featuring a hilarious cast, themes of selflessness & sacrifice, plus some pretty damn scary Christmas-themed demons, this is a must watch for any true horror fan this Christmas.

Black Christmas (1974)

It’s the beginning of winter break for a group of sorority sisters when they begin to receive disturbing phone calls…& then bodies begin to pile up.  

Considered to be one of the first (yet lesser known) slasher films, this movie is most often remembered for its creative kills just as much as its creepy ending. But it also went on to inspire another little holiday horror classic known as John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978), a less than stellar remake in the 2000s & another remake released just YESTERDAY, on Friday the 13th.  

So if you have any interest in catching the new film, why not first give the O.G. a revisit?

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Now, what exactly happens when a young boy watches his parents get murdered by a madman in a Santa suit? Well, apparently there’s a good chance he becomes a tormented, yet bizarrely handsome young man who ultimately snaps on Christmas Eve to don a Santa suit & wage a bloody war on innocent people. As told by this wacky, gory & laughably bad (but great but still bad) cult classic.  

As we all may or may not remember, it was this Christmas Evil-rip off that famously brought the hate & ire of middle-class ’80s parents due to TV ads & posters depicting killer Santa swinging an axe (who knew he was so ahead of his time?)! So if culty, campy & crazy suits your fancy, then most def give this B-movie a look-see.  

Better Watch Out (2016)

Did you ever watch Home Alone & think that in some ways it was pretty horrifying? Seriously, we’re talking home invasion, a child being tormented & neglected by his parents, copious amounts of physical violence, & let’s not forget – that scary AF furnace in the basement.  

With this perspective in mind, the creators of Better Watch Out were able to present a smart & subversive take on the ‘90s classic (& not to mention, some of its now-famous tropes). But more over, Better Watch Out is fueled by excellent performances by its two leads & ultimately becomes a poignant social commentary on pre-teen violence & toxic masculinity.  

So all in all, this is a fun one for the “woke” crowd just as much as the gore & horror hounds. But, in a way that’s effective, entertaining & surprisingly not obnoxious (despite what I know you’re surely thinking).

Gremlins (1984)

Ah, the movie that shows us what it would look like if Roger Corman directed a Frank Capra story.  

One part It’s a Wonderful Life & one part midnight creature-feature, this timeless Christmas treasure never seems to get old. Each year new children are delighted to meet the adorable little Mogwai known as Gizmo, only to be horrified shortly thereafter by what pops out of him when he’s mishandled.  

Hands down, it has some of the best practical puppet effects of any monster movie to date. So if you’re looking for a fun & scary movie for the whole family this Christmas, there’s no reason to not revisit this timeless classic.

A Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

If you’ve ever set foot inside a Hot Topic, then you know the slew of merchandise based on this beloved, stop-motion musical masterpiece. And while the great debate continues over whether it’s ~technically~ a Halloween versus Christmas movie, there’s never a wrong time to journey back to Halloween Town. 

Watching Jack Skellington & his ghoulish friends try to deliver a macabre Christmas to the rest of the world, only to discover that Santa’s boots are a lot harder to fill than it looks – it truly never gets old. And with a musical score that will forever resonate in your head for days, this is a must-watch for any gothling at heart who’s looking to bring a little spooky into their holiday season.  

We all know that Christmas can get a little overwhelming, but these movies are a sure-fire way to bring a touch of horror-fun into the mix this Yuletide season.  

So stay scarier than the dark, friends! And happy holidays to you, all my msft party people.  

xxKF

0