THE MSFT GUIDE TO MAKING A 5-STAR FAB CHARCUTERIE BOARD

It’s hard to go wrong with a good charcuterie board.

And last night I decided to get my mystic on by making one inspired by one of our all-time favorite tarot cards: The Moon!

I know, I know, they always say not to play with your food. But when it comes to anything charcuterie, how can you NOT take the opp to make it a bang-up piece of art?

With delicious cheese, meat & fruit slices galore, it’s amazing how creative you really can get with it all. So pair that with the fact it’s also a fairly simple, yet super smash hit for literally any gathering — we’re talking winning combo of the century.

Although, if food styling isn’t your strongest suit, then it’s totally understandable the task might feel a little daunting. But with the help of a few of our top charcuterie tips, tricks & thrifty hacks, you too can make Ina Garten proud. 

Let’s discuss – 

WHAT TO CHOOSE?

The best thing about charcuterie boards is how customizable they are for any occasion, number of people & dietary needs. However, for the sake of today’s conversation, we’ll stick to the classics.

THE MEAT

For the meats, almost any type of cured or smoked Italian variety will totally do. From prosciutto & salami, to hot capocollo, pepperoni, soppressata & sausage, you can choose whatever blend speaks most to you.

THE CHEESE

When it comes to the cheese, variety is ~especially~ key. As you may or may not know, there are SO MANY different types. So think about mixing & matching hard (like Swiss or Parmesan), soft (Brie, Goat or Mozzarella), smoked (Gouda or Provolone), sharp & mellow kinds with one another. 

THE GRAINY VESSELS

Regarding crackers & bread, you can go with any combo of butter crackers, water crackers, crostinis, flat pretzels, pita chips & other sliced/toasted bread pieces.

…or cucumber slices if you’re looking for a *low-carb* option, I guess.

THE EXTRAS

Beyond those three categories, the rest all boils down to personal preference. The biggest rule of thumb to keep in mind is having a mix of colors & textures. So the extent of other accoutrements like fruit, nuts, olives/pickles, veggies, jams & dips you pile on just depends on your taste & how large of a group you’re serving.

SPECIAL TOOLS & EQUIPMENT

Beyond the board itself, you honestly don’t need any other special equipment. Fancy cheese knives are fun & all, but honestly…they’re a grade-A pain. So it’s just as well to skip them all together & serve pre-sliced cheese that’s easier (& more fun!) to arrange.

And speaking of fun arrangements – any time you want to get creative with specific shapes, cookie, fondant & food-safe clay cutters are GREAT tools to get clean, crisp edges on sliced cheese, meat & fruit as well.

For this board specifically, I also made savory prosciutto/mozzarella/caramelized onion hand pies in the shape of wolves! Using our from-scratch pie crust recipe, baked at 400ºF for 30 to 40 minutes.

OTHER (BUDGET-FRIENDLY) PROTIPS

++ If you’re living it up at a wine bar or terrace in the heart of Italy, yes, your charcuterie board is probably going to be expensive. But that’s far from a requirement when making one of your own!

++ As we all know, stores like Trader Joe’s & Sprouts have insanely eclectic selections that all come at a pretty reasonable price. Although, if you’re not hosting that large of a group &/or want a wider variety of smaller quantities, then let me introduce you to your new BFF: the deli counter! With so many options that you can get however much or little you want, it’s a super economical way to go.

++ When wanting to branch into nut territory, then I have two words for you: BULK AISLE. We ALL know how crazy expensive roasty, toasty (albeit delicious) nuts can be, but bulk is hands-down the way to do it. Considering, much like the deli counter, you can get however much of however many types you’d like – all usually at a *slightly* cheaper than pre-packaged price.

++ And finally, I know how hard it can be to choose between your artisan collection of African Blackwood & Carrara Marble boards (HA), but for those times when you just need to whip something out on the fly, any sort of wooden cutting board works great, too! Sure, you can shop for charcuterie-specific boards that might have some helpful features like a lipped edge, but your standard wooden/bamboo boards can also bring a lot of bang for your buck in terms of size & quality.

Thankfully we’ve all come a long way from the little ham & (fake) cheese Lunchable days. But hopefully this handy guide can help take your meat & cheese game to the next level!

Regardless of whether it’s tarot-inspired or not 😉

xxAA

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