Teens in 2000 to 2009: IT’S NOT A PHASE, MOM

2019: … *Spotify Year In Review is filled with all the same music*

Regardless if you’re one to still let your freak flag aesthetically fly, or keep it reined in to your playlists & choice of nail polish, the fact is we’re in exceptionally good (& large!) company when it comes to the roster of current- & former-goths.

Hopping onto the bandwagon for shallow reasons was always one thing, but I am a HUGE believer that any genuine alternative “phase” (not a phase) is something that potentially sticks with you forever.

Time is a thing. So eventually you grow out of the angsty teenage years, set sail into the workforce, evolve your style & may or may decide to bring the aesthetic along with you. But even if you trade in your blue hair for blowouts, & industrial dancing cred for an ergonomic office chair, it doesn’t mean that part of you doesn’t continue to play a role.

Way back when in those god-awful grade-school years, we were all drawn to whatever scene for a reason. Whether it was the music, the movies, the themes or philosophies held by its people, there were crystal-clear reasons why your little black sheep heart chose the pop-cultural path it did. And here you are, metamorphosed into the slightly less fledgling of a freak that stands today!

No doubt, it’s been a wild ride. Although I think it’s important to stay true to & relish in the things you KNOW have always stuck near & dear to your heart. No matter when you discovered them…& no matter what type of highly questionable hairstyle you inevitably sported at the time (did I mention we’ve all teeth-clenchingly been there?).

Which is why my rant is officially over & it’s now time to remember that celebrities are hilariously no different.

Seriously! When you think “goth” celebs, of course there’s Kelly, Winona, Taylor Momsen – you know, the ~obvious~ suspects who’ve never fully abandoned their dark-friendly looks. Then, there are the A-listers like Taylor Swift who have ONE old MySpace picture with dark hair that the Internet freaks out about & claims it was a “it’s not a phase, mom” phase. Ugh, insane.

BUT those aside, I wanted to pull the curtain back on a few of the more unsuspecting peeps. Like the ones you never would have guessed they took their looks to the dark side at one point or another.

Because as I mentioned, we’ve all teeth-clenchingly been there !!!

So let’s begin:

CHRISTINA HENDRICKS

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Office Manager of a 1960s ad agency is a bit of a pivot from the obligatory brooding-teen-goth-in-the-woods pic, but hey, she undoubtably rocked it! From Mad Men to Good Girls, to one of the voices in Toy Story 4 (none of which I’ve actually seen but a lot of people seem to like !) Christina Hendricks has definitely come a long way from her jet black-laden days.

ELIZABETH HURLEY

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Definitely a punk if there ever was one, Elizabeth Hurley spent quite a time raging against the cultural grain, without question. Of course, we all know the British bombshell from The Royals, Austin Powers & ~most importantly~ Gossip Girl, but before her modeling debut, she was all about this bold, badass & gravity-defying look.

MELISSA MCCARTHY

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So even though Melissa McCarthy somehow went from cheerleader to mega-goth overnight, we have to at least give her props for some apparently major commitment. According to her husband & fellow actor/comedian Ben Falcone, the Gilmore Girls & Bridesmaids alumna donned a “really scary” kabuki-makeup/blue-hair/black-coat-in-the-summer situation throughout some of her high school years. So wish we had a pic of that!

CATE BLANCHETT

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Who doesn’t love a gal with a good buzz cut, am I right? Probably taking the cake of most unrecognizable is the too-many-roles-to-count superstar Cate Blanchett. Citing her pale skin as one of the biggest things she celebrated during the time (girl, we feel), she proudly represented the Aussie goths & now has a million prestigious acting awards to show for it.

ANDREW YANG

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And arguably one of the most surprising of them all, the prez candidate himself- Andrew Yang. Revealing his truth as a full-on “ex-goth” via Twitter earlier in 2019, he included his fave bands of the time & a few pics of the long(ish), greasy hair. A few months later another pic surfaced showing a pretty hefty dose of guyliner as well. But apparently that one was just a Halloween costume.

Embarrassing baby goth photos = SO much to love.

We wouldn’t be where we are now without them. So what’s the best-worst fashion memory you have?

Mine was definitely the great “scene hair” pandemic of 2009…

xxAA

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